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From WI If


You Know You're from Wisconsin when...

Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
Snow tires come standard on all your cars. 
You refer to the Packers as "we."
You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week. 
You can identify an Illinois accent. 
You know what cow-tipping is.
You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike.
 
Down South to you means Chicago. 

Traveling coast to coast means going from La Crosse to Milwaukee.
A brat is something you eat. 
You know that Eau Claire is not something you eat. 

You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
You consider Madison exotic.
 
You got a passport to go to Minnesota. 
You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
You can actually pronounce Oconomowoc. 
You know what a bubbler is. 

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
 
You go out for fish fry every Friday. 
You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.
 
You know how to polka.
You drink soda and refer to your dad as "pop."
 
Formal wear is blue jeans & a baseball cap.
You were unaware there is a legal drinking age.
 
Your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 
You know where Waukesha is AND can pronounce it.
You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend. 
You only know three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 
You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London, 
& Poland all in one afternoon.

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights. 
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. 

You enjoy driving in the winter because the potholes fill in with snow.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
 
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof. 

The local paper covers major headlines on 1 page, but requires 4 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday. 
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You know what to do with a Blatz. 
You've never met any celebrities. 

You know the difference between a Badger and a Buckeye.
You know what a FIB is and can spot them a mile away. 
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells.

You've seen all the biggest bands in concert 10 years after they were popular. 

You know several people who have hit a deer.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." 
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals. 

A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding.
You carry jumper cables in your car. 
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You know all four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction. 
Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.

You actually understand these jokes.
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